Getting married is an adventure, and so many couples believe that the perfect way for them to start their adventure is to have an intimate, "just us" elopement. For you + your partner, maybe eloping sounds like the right way to go when beginning your marriage journey. Your reasons for eloping are thoughtful, valid, and yours alone. However, that doesn't mean that your choice to elope is without a reservation:
"How can we include our family and friends when we elope?"
One thing to keep in mind when planning your elopement is that no one has a right to determine your decision but the two of you. As long as the choice of having friends and family be involved is straight from your heart, and reflects you two having all of the intention you desire without any sacrifices, some of these options may be for you!
Sometimes, involving your loved ones can be seen as an "all or nothing" approach. This does not have to be the case! Your family can be included during your elopement day from afar, or even supporting you in person.
-Have an Intimate Ceremony with Close Friends and Family
An intimate wedding/microwedding can be the perfect balance between a "just us" elopement and a more traditional approach. Having your closest friends and family by your side in an adventurous place can be just as meaningful as eloping alone! Keep in mind that when choosing a location for an intimate ceremony, you may have to accommodate guests who may not be up for a long hike, so don't forget about accessibility for your guests. If you have your heart set on a gorgeous location that is a bit more adventurous to expect family members to troop to, there are still a plethora of ways to include them without compromising on your elopement vision.
-Split Up Your Elopement Day
You can be surrounded by your loved ones' support, and still have the adventure elopement that you desire. Consider having an intimate wedding ceremony with friends and family, and then hiking to a beautiful spot, just you + your partner. You can even have separate vows to say, have a first look on a mountaintop, or write letters to read to each other while you are out on your private adventure.
Remember that the timeline of your day doesn't have to fall victim to anyone's expectations! Some ways that our couples have split up their elopement day are having a ceremony with family and friends, grabbing some food with them, and doing a sunset hike later in the day [or even a stunning sunrise hike before the ceremony!], or, have their ceremony with loved ones, go on a hiking adventure just the two of them to share those intimate, serene moments, later meeting up with their friends and family to have a reception! There is no right or wrong way to plan your elopement day. The right thing is always doing what resonates with you + your partner.
Even if you + your partner choose to have an adventure elopement just the two of you, there are some great ways to incorporate your friends and family in a day that means so much.
-Include Friends and Family in the Planning Process
Having your family and friends help you plan your elopement is a wonderful way to get them involved, and it can give aspects of your day a special meaning. Shopping for your wedding attire together, asking for input on different hiking trails; your BFF can even throw you a rad engagement party! Just because you are eloping doesn't mean you can't choose to include some traditions that you find fun and exciting, and having your friends and family assist with pre-elopement plans can be an intentional way of acknowledging their love and support. Your friends and family may not be there during your vows, but they can absolutely still be a part of your unforgettable elopement adventure.
-FaceTime or Skype During Your Adventure Elopement
FaceTime or Skype is a great choice to be able to connect with your loved ones, at the top of a mountain on the other side of the world! Some more remote places may not have cell phone reception, but if your elopement location does, video-chat apps like Skype or FaceTime are an option! Your friends and family can also do video toasts for you as you celebrate your elopement, together, even apart. Family and friends can send videos to you + your partner that you can watch together, while sharing your elopement experience.
-Include Family and Friends in Other Meaningful Moments of Your Day
Having your loved ones with you while you get ready for your elopement day is a beautiful collaboration. Since most elopements shy away from the traditional approach of having a wedding party, you can appoint loved ones to help with your hair, makeup, wedding attire or just be there for emotional support. Your family and friends can even be there for your first look, and revel in all of the pre-wedding excitement with you two before sending you off on your elopement adventure!
-Incorporate Special Details
Perhaps you have family heirlooms that have sentimental value, and they would really mean a lot to you to include as a detail on your elopement day. Mementos and special family treasures are a way to feel close to your loved ones, even if they aren't physically present during your elopement. Something borrowed, something blue? Something old, and something new? That can still apply for an elopement, or you can create aspects that are totally unique and your own! A fun possibility for having friends and family take part in your elopement plans is to make DIY decor for your day! Here are a few ideas for DIY elopement decor projects that you can do with friends and family:
-Vow books
-"Just Married" signs for your backpacks
-Bouquet-making
-Hand painted and decorated denim jackets [Mr. and Mrs/Mrs. and Mrs./Mx./et cetera!]
-Have a Separate Reception or Post-Elopement Celebration
A reception or party after your elopement allows your loved ones to build you up and support your new marriage, while you still have the elopement day you've always envisioned. It can be an excuse to throw on your wedding attire again, share photos from your elopement, but most importantly, celebrate with the ones you hold dear. Just like when you designed your elopement day, your inclusive celebration should still follow the same rule of doing things YOUR way. Brunch? Getting everyone together for bowling and arcade games? Going all-out traditional by cutting the cake and dancing? Go for it! If having a reception vibes with you, it can even be a few weeks or months after your elopement, which really helps curb feeling overwhelmed with planning multiple events at once!
-Read Letters from Family and Friends During Your Elopement
Similar to having your friends and family send videos, a heartfelt way of sharing your elopement with them can be to request them to write letters: of support, well-wishes, or advice. You + your partner can spend some moments during your elopement basking in their love and support, even if they aren't there in person. It is such a sweet sentiment to read letters of encouragement from your loved ones during your elopement, and can help give you a boost of confidence in beginning your marriage adventure.
-Have a Friend or Family Member Officiate Your Elopement
Becoming ordained sounds like a daunting task, but it couldn't be easier! How memorable would it be to have your best friend or sibling officiate your elopement; such a significant event! Becoming ordained to perform a marriage ceremony is possible through online avenues such as Universal Life Church and American Marriage Ministries, just to name a few. For many couples, this is a meaningful option.
No elopement or wedding is one-size-fits all, and there are a ton of possibilities to mix and match these ideas to craft an elopement that is representative of what you + your partner envision. This is your day.
If you're ready to get started on your elopement:
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